Saturday, March 21, 2009

My Favorite Christmas Movies

I absolutely love cross-genre films. Sci-Fi/ Horror, Coming of Age/ Slasher, Romantic Comedy/ Maniac Killer on the loose, ect… So Naturally I my favorite Christmas Movies are the ones that push the boundaries and cross over into other Genres. Here are my favorite Christmas Movies and I hope some of them will warm your heart as well.

Maniac Elf on 5th Ave
tis a December to Dismember.
Will Ferrell goes Feral as an Elf who gets laid off due to the downturn. To exact his revenge he hunts down the Wall St executives who got huge sums of money from the bailout and didn’t spend anything on toys for poor kids. (All of them.)

Bloody Reindeer War Games.
aka Saving Private Rudolph
Reindeer War games turn deadly when Rudolph is captured by terrorists and Santa must lead the other Reindeers to save him and get back to the workshop in time to save Christmas.

Mrs Santa's Toys
Starring Jenna Jameson
While Santa is out delivering presents, Mrs Claus and some female Elves play with their own toys.
Best Line: “I may not play well with others, but I sure know how to play with my Elf.”

Santa’s Slay Ride of Terror
the last ride of your life.
3 little kids get their wish, to ride in Santa’s sled. Little do they realize that in order to deliver every child’s present in under 24 hours he needs to accelerate faster than the Space Shuttle and avoid unfriendly countries anti aircraft missiles, and when Lance Hendrickson and the Chinese Mafia show up things get really ugly.

A massacre on 42nd St
Gun toteing Elves, Shoppers at Macys being impaled by Reindeer horns, People getting Candy Kaned and I won’t mention what is done with the ornaments. A good time for the whole family.

Yule time Yule Die
AKA Bloody Christmas Tree - Manatree's Revenge
Manatree is reawakened for Christmas, and this is one Yule Log that won’t go down without a fight.

Deadly Ornaments - Made in China
A documentary about the high levels of lead found in Ornaments made in China.

Dradle Killer
Portrait of The Chanukah CHacker
A Jewish kid gets his revenge on those who picked on him for not celebrating Christmas.

Season's Beatings.
‘Tis the Season to Die as Uncle Fred drinks too much Egg Nog and gets violent.

Silent but Deadly Night
After the Fruitcake

Terrorists attempt mass murder by putting deadly Sarin Gas capsules, that will only release the gas after they’ve been eaten, in all the fruitcake sold this season. Total Death Count 3.

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