Tuesday, March 31, 2009

The 5 Worst Star Trek Villains (so far).

The Star Trek Universe is known for the Grand Shakespearian style of larger than life heroes, and in order to have larger than life heroes you need great villains. And sometimes you don’t get them.

#5 V’ger

The Voyager Probe traveled to the other side of the Galaxy, became Super-powerful returned to Earth to meet its creator and kills anything that gets in its way, then plugged its electronic ears and said “1000101010101010” which translated from binary means. “La-La-La-La I can’t hear you.”

A computer that will kill anything that gets in the way of its mission and develops a religion about its creator? Wasn’t that the plot of 2001? It didn’t translate to the big screen very well either so this Star Trek rip-off was even worse.

Most fans don’t notice how incredibly lame the villain was due to the incredibly bad direction and pacing. (I don’t mean the slow pace of the movie, I mean their own pacing back and forth waiting for something to happen).

#4 Ad'har

F. Murray Abraham's acting almost made fans forget how lame his character was. His motivation was to kill his mommy because she let him leave home to see the universe.

It would be like spending your entire working life plotting to kill your mom because you wanted to move back in to your old room after college, but were too proud to ask.

I moved back into my mom’s house once. I didn’t have to raise a fleet of Space ships, create a weapon that would destroy that part of the Galaxy or make an elaborate plan to have the Government turn its back on its most sacred principals. Good thing too, I had to borrow the money from her (I still haven’t paid her back).

This doesn’t really make me a bad enough villain to make an entire movie about.

#3 Japanese Fishing Boat

Star Trek 4 gave us the most mismatched battle ever, a fishing boat vs. a Klingon Bird of Prey.

The original movies went counter to how most series go with the villains getting bigger and bader as the series went on. With Star Trek they got smaller. In The Motion Picture V’ger was the size of Jupiter, then Khan stole a Federation Ship smaller than the Enterprise but newer to make it an even match, In ST3 Enterprise took on a Klingon Scout Ship, then in ST4 the Klingon Scout Ship took on a fishing boat. To keep up with this pattern they would have to have the Enterprise-A take on a guy who wanders around in the desert.

#2 Sybok

Spock’s half-brother wandered around in the desert then takes over the Enterprise-A in search of God. Takes them to a guy and gets killed.

#1 Praetor Shinzon

Great concept for a villain Picard’s clone but the real villain was the casting director. Shinzon didn’t look like Picard was 6 inches shorter and 20 lbs lighter. I tried to suspend my disbelief but couldn’t.

If they had done a Van Damn and had Patrick Stewart play both roles it could have been cool. That would have made the overacting by Brett Spiner tolerable.

Honorable Mention


Soran could have been the end to the franchise, his motivation was to get his drug called the Nexus.

Malcolm McDowell pulled it off and made it watchable, but imagine Keanu Reeve in that role.

“Like I need to get back to the Nexus, Dude. Bummer that I need to like totally blow up a planet to do it.”

1 comment:

  1. that is so great

    i had to move back in to my mom's house once too.