Sunday, April 5, 2009

Star Trek XI: My prediction on its suck factor.

In case you haven’t noticed by my other posts, I’m a huge Star Trek Fan. I’ve got all the series except the original on DVD, and until recently all the movies except, of course, The Motion Picture and V.

I’ve noticed a pattern in which movies suck and which don’t.

The more I want to see one the worse it is, the ones I think will suck turn out great.

I was in high school when The Motion Picture came out, I was waiting for it, I spent my hard earned money on any magazine that mentioned it. I became super trekie in the months before its release.

I don’t think I need to say how bad that turd was, but I will anyway.

It was so bad I refused to watch Wrath of Khan. I switched the channel when it was on HBO and it wasn’t until it was on regular TV that I watched it. I thought it was awesome and kicked myself for not seeing it in the theater.

Search for Spock came out and I rented it, I didn’t have high hopes for it but I wasn’t expecting a turd and that’s exactly what I got. It wasn’t great but it wasn’t a turd. (That’s one hell of a marketing slogan.)

I didn’t rent “The Voyage Home” because I knew it was the wrap up of the last two and I hate wrap up movies. My Father in Law knew I was a Star Trek fan and recorded it for me. I thought it was the funniest and the quirkiest of the series.

I was really looking forward to “The Final Frontier” a new beginning for the series and bigger budget than the shoestring the last 3 had. It ended up sucking the sweat off a dead donkey.

“The Final Frontier” was so bad I avoided the “Undiscovered Country”. When I rented it later it rocked.

After the horrible last season of TNG and the even number curse I dreaded seeing “Generations” but it gave me an excuse to take my wife out to dinner and a movie. I figured if it sucked we could fool around like we used to. They crashed the Enterprise-D, Malcolm McDowell was over the top and Brett Spiner didn’t sing. I loved it.

I knew in “First Contact” they traveled back in time, I personally have never liked it when TNG traveled back in time, TOS handled it well and later Voyager did a great job but I never liked TNG’s time travel shows. So I wasn’t too enthusiastic about it.

I loved it.

With “Insurrection” I thought, the TNG was hitting on all cylinders and a title like Insurrection implies oh, I don’t know, maybe an Insurrection. I was expecting a huge inter-federation war maybe even the Enterprise-E on one side and Wolf commanding the Defiant on the other.

Instead I got guys in bad make-up with mommy issues.

For “Nemesis” I put “Insurrection” out of my mind and went to see Picard vs The Romulans. Instead I got too many Brett Spiners singing and a Picard clone that didn’t look like Picard and was 6” shorter.

When I saw the trailers for “Star Trek” they looked cool and I started to think that it could be a really great new take on the series. Then I remembered that every time I thought a Star Trek movie would be great it sucked. So now I don’t want to see it because I know it will suck, but every time I think a Star Trek movie will suck it turns out great. So now I really want to see it. But every time I think…you get the point.

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